Want to know cool things about me? Well, you’re in luck, because today’s 5 things are all about me! Specifically things you might not know about me, because I don’t talk about them much. You know, just those weird things that don’t come up often, like fears and allergies and bread.
- I’m scared of thunderstorms. They wake me up, if they’re not already keeping me up at night. I usually wrap myself in a pile of blankets and try to read a book. Thunderstorms and moths are the only two things that truly freak me out and turn me into a gibbering idiot. Heights? Let me climb the ladder. Death? Pfft, everything morbid is cool with me. Public speaking? Ask me about my multiple speech and debate awards (or the time I gave a talk to an auditorium full of cops). Thunder and lightning? Holy shit we’re all gonna die! And moths. I can’t explain my issues with moths. They’re just…eeeeeeep.
- I can’t eat spicy food. Okay, technically I can eat spicy food. I am physically able to eat spicy food. But it is a really, really bad idea. First I start to sweat, then my eyes start to water and my nose begins to run. Once I get the food down, the heartburn starts. Finally comes the putrid farts (I’m a gassy girl but these smell…like death) and other toilet effects. My heat limit is mild salsa. I once bought medium by mistake and spent 12 hours convinced I was dying. I survived, but it was a close call.
- I am allergic to animals. “But wait,” I hear you say. “Don’t you have a cat?” Yes I do and he is awesome. I also ride horses and adore dogs. How is this possible? The magic of drugs, folks. I have a mild-to-moderate allergy, which didn’t develop until I was 24. I have no idea why I suddenly became allergic to animals, but I was tested as a kid (allergies are a big thing in my family) and was fine, but as an adult I suddenly had itchy eyes, a scratchy throat, and a clogged nose whenever I cuddled my cat, went to the barn, or even thought about dogs. (That last one is a lie.) Got tested and…I am allergic to basically every animal with fur. Not feathers, though! I didn’t have to give up my down duvet and pillows. I take a Claritin or 3 every day and happily live with my kitty and hang out at the barn. Animals are too important to me to give them up at this point.
- I have a Bachelors degree. Yes, it’s true. Once upon a time I went to school, wrote the papers, read the books, and managed to put together enough credits to get myself a degree. In Sport Science. I used my degree for a few years, but left the sports industry for a long (and pretty boring) list of reasons. “Can I study your anatomy?” is still the best-ever pick up line anyone ever used on me in class. And yes, it worked.
- I don’t buy bread. You may notice that doesn’t say “I don’t eat bread.” I eat bread. I love bread. But I don’t buy it. Oh no, baby…I bake it. I don’t use a breadmaker, either. I make it old-fashioned style, kneading it on my kitchen table, getting covered in flour. Nothing smells better than break in the oven, and very few things taste better than bread still warm from the oven. I’m generally not a food snob, but homemade bread is one thing I get a bit hoity-toity about. (Spell check says that isn’t a word. Spell check can go fuck itself.)
Well, now you know. What you do with this information is up to you. I’d obviously prefer if you used it for good, but you do you.